Mess of Me

Inspiration!

2010-08-03T16:08:00.000-05:00

New inspiration for me? Banks Lee.

http://banksleethethreeclicks.blogspot.com

Follow him!

26 lbs down from when I started...yes! Now I'm in the process of training for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure on October 16, and then the Mud Run 5K on October 23. I've been having to wake up at 4:00 every morning to get in my run before it gets too hot...the highs have been hovering around 103 with a heat index of 115-120 for the past few weeks (and don't forget the humidity that makes you feel like you're about to suffocate! :-D)

Small victories? Having to buy new scrubs this weekend because all of the ones I currently own are too big and baggy on me...which isn't the most professional look.

Newest thing I love? Skinny Cow Ice Cream (the new individual servings)...my favorite? Strawberry Cheesecake..and the best part? Only 130 calories.

Have to finish up some charts, then run errands, so that's all for now <3

Reward Time!

2010-06-29T12:26:00.000-05:00

I have officially met my 25 lbs. lost mark!

That's right...as of this morning, I weighed 226 lbs!

I'd like to say that all of it has been through hard work (90% of it was), but some of those pounds lost were due to me not feeling so hot for the past 2 weeks.

Very glad it's grilling season though....grilled corn, squash, and zucchini are my new best friends :)

Higher Love.

2010-04-19T12:09:00.000-05:00

I fell off the wagon, landed on my face, and stayed there for three months.

I managed to eat/not exercise my way back up to 241 lbs. I could KICK myself for taking all that hard work and throwing it out the window.

I have started Weight Watchers, and today is the beginning of my second week. So far, I've lost 4 lbs, which puts me back down to 237. I think that Weight Watchers might actually work for me, because I'm finding it really easy to follow the points system, and I don't feel like I'm on a diet per say.

I've decided to give myself rewards for meeting goals. My first reward will be when I lose 25 lbs (from my original starting weight of 251), and the reward will be an exercise bike.

Hope everyone's having a good Monday!

Canned Heat....

2010-01-12T09:50:00.000-06:00

If I could bottle the feeling I have while I run and sip on it for the rest of the day, I could make it through any terrible thing that might rear its head during my workday.

Did 1.5 miles this morning, and I have this to say...Nike + makes all the difference in the world. If you don't have one, get one (it will change the way you run, I promise.) I love the way it lets me know what my average pace is...which kept me in check of how well I was doing (or when I needed to dig down). My husband laughed at me when I said that I had no doubts at all about doing a 5K now. I've encouraged him to do the one in March with me, but he was a little hesitant...so we'll see :)

Breakfast this morning was Quaker Oatmeal, the weight control stuff is awesome. It's got loads of fiber and protein...for only 160 calories.

Busy day at work, hoping to squeeze in a work out at lunch. Biggest Loser is tonight!

Hello stranger.

2010-01-11T14:58:00.000-06:00

It's been almost two months since I last wrote, there have been a few things happen in my personal life, but I've managed to resurface...so here we are.

I managed to hang around 231 since I've last wrote, which is miraculous to me, considering how I spent most of that time not making the best food choices and not dedicating nearly enough time to working out.

I am now training for my first 5K, which happens to be the first Saturday in March. I don't think I've ever been so excited for anything in my life. :) I've got a several race dates circled in red on my calendar that I'm planning on doing after that.

Breakfast this morning was an omelette with turkey bacon and fat free cheese. Not too bad.
Lunch was from Subway, so all in all I've had about 800 calories so far today. And I'm well above my daily goal for water, so today has been a good day so far.

Plan on running tonight when I get off work, finally going to use my Nike+, excited to see how much it helps!

Such Great Heights.

2009-11-24T16:24:00.000-06:00

I have hit the 20 lbs gone mark...and have set up camp.

I weighed myself Saturday morning and I was at 230.5 lbs....that's 20.5 down from my starting weight of 251. After doing a little happy dance because I hit this goal in about 6 weeks, I just knew that I would continue to do well. You know that they say about assuming though....

I had a really good weekend, and weighed myself yesterday morning and I had gained....a lb. So make that 19.5 lbs lost. Being the optimistic person I am, I jumped on the scales this morning hoping that the run I had at lunch yesterday and sticking to my calorie budget would make that pound disappear. I eeked out -0.5 (equaling a tent and campfire at 20 pounds).

I know I shouldn't complain, because I've averaged about 3 lbs a week over the past 6 weeks...which is amazing. I think I'm just worried that I'm gonna have hard time with the rest of my weight loss, which has always been problematic in the past, always resulting in the yo-yo effect.

It has been almost a year since I have been below 230. I managed to get down to 218 for a short time after I had my daughter in June of 2008, but I leveled off, and so I gave up and worked my way back up to 251.

I am hoping that I manage to stay strong and not give up. I like the way I feel now. I like how I don't feel "gross" or "bleh" after I eat, because I'm making good food choices. I like how I can do so many things without huffing and puffing like I used to. I LOVE that I can RUN.

On another note, I am planning on contributing to my family's Thanksgiving dinner with two sides and a dessert from Hungry Girl (whom I absolutely ADORE). I'm going to try the Lean Bean Casserole (76 calories per serving) and Miracle Mashies (90 calories per serving), and her Pumpkin Pie (133 calories per slice, compared to 400 a slice with regular pumpkin pie)....if all goes well I'll post pics on here :D. Moderation is going to be my best friend on Thursday, and I'll burn it all off hopefully shopping with my mom and sister on Friday (a tradition, followed up with a nonfat Caramel Macchiato).

The Biggest Loser is tonight...interested to see who will go :)

Dark Blue.

2009-11-16T17:12:00.000-06:00

I'm so awesome at this...it's been almost a week since I wrote last.

Work and school have made my stress level hit HIGH...but I've managed to keep losing weight. I did however, not do so well over the weekend (we took a mini-vacation to Branson to see the Christmas lights), and my family (my parents, brother, and us) made not so healthy restaurant choices (I did get to eat Subway for lunch yesterday, thankfully!)

It finally seems like the weather might be taking a turn for the cold and staying there. It's been raining on and off all day, and the temperature has dropped 20 degrees since I came into the office this morning. I'm interested to see how I'll do running in the cold. I missed my run at lunch today because it was raining...so I'll have to make up for it on the treadmill tonight.

Today's calorie count:

Breakfast
3 egg whites, one egg, scrambled : 120 calories
1 slice whole grain, whole wheat toast: 50 calories

Snack:
Chocolate pretzel Special K bar: 90 calories

Lunch:
Turkey and Ham on 9 grain honey oat (no cheese) from Subway: 300 calories
Cup of Chicken Noodle Soup from Subway: 80 calories

Snack:
Pretzels: 110 calories
Almonds: 100 calories

So...that makes my total 850 calories (before dinner). I think I'll have grilled chicken with brown rice and broccoli for dinner, so I should be under budget :)

One thing I am loving right now is Wii Fit Plus....I really like how it shows you how many calories you burn after each activity you do, so you can keep track of that as well as your normal workout.

House is on tonight, Biggest Loser tomorrow night :)

Learning to Fly.

2009-11-10T11:04:00.000-06:00

Weighed in this morning...and drum roll please....I've lost another 2 lbs. I did a little happy dance, because that means I have lost almost 15 lbs in a month.

I think this is the first time in my life where I don't necessarily feel like I'm on a "diet". I feel like I've made this complete lifestyle change (which, in all honesty, I have). We had staff lunch yesterday, and my co-workers chose Chili's....which has always been one of my favorite restaurants. I was surprised at how I didn't really stress out about it. I ordered the Chicken platter off of the Guiltless Grill menu, which included a grilled chicken breast over a bed of rice, and steamed veggies. I had the waitress x-nay the parmesan cheese that was supposed to be on the veggies, and when I got it I cut off my portion size of the chicken. The rice looked like it had been cooked in something, rather than just steamed, so I decided to skip it. The whole thing was supposed to be 580 calories, but because I did without the cheese, cut the chicken breast in half, and didn't eat the rice, I'm fairly confident it was MUCH lower than that. A girl that I work with made fun of me for the way I ordered and ate, but I brushed it off. I'm finally doing right by myself...nothing's getting in my way.

The weather has been really nice, so I've done more of my running outside. My daughter loves to be outside, so I'll stick her in her stroller and she'll go with me (have I mentioned how much I adore the Jeep jogging stroller we have?). We've even started walking to the grocery store that's not too far from our house (when I only have a few things to pick up).

Biggest Loser is tonight...and they're supposed to be sending two people home this week, which should be interesting. :)

(The title of my post is Kate Earle's new song which I'm absolutely loving right now :D)

It's that time again...

2009-10-26T16:53:00.002-05:00

...for The Office Halloween episode!

An actual post coming later.

Coffee, my dear friend..

2009-10-26T09:16:00.000-05:00

The weekend wasn't the greatest for me. I woke up on Friday feeling like I was getting a cold...and I did. I spent the entire weekend in bed or on the couch, feeling like I had been hit by a semi. It was wonderful....not (I did get caught up on Monk and OTH though) I did manage to make it over to my mom's for a little while last night, which made me feel a little better, but I spent all night tossing and turning and coughing up a lung.

Because I didn't feel good, I didn't eat so good. I did eat oatmeal this morning, and I've had coffee so far, so hopefully I can have some willpower and not go crawling back to my comfort food like I did this weekend.

I think one of the things that is the hardest about all of this is that I really don't have a support system at home (don't get my wrong my husband encourages me...while he's eating pizza :D). My mom started out with me, but she's decided she doesn't want to do it right now...so I look forward to reading all of my subscriptions on here...it helps keep me strong.

All these songs about rain.

2009-10-22T10:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was weigh-in....and I gained +0.2 lbs....so that makes my current weight 237.2. I wasn't happy to see that, BUT I'm still happy with the fact that I'm at the 13 lb mark, which is a big deal (for me anyways).

The rain that has moved in overnight killed any hopes of going for my run today (I'll have to make time to hit the treadmill....I'm debating on whether or not it will wake E up when she's down for her nap)

So far, Thursday has been a good eating day...
Breakfast:
One Egg on a Whole Grain Muffin with Fat Free Cheese-200 calories
7 apple slices-35 calories

Snack:
14 almonds-100 calories

I'm planning on making grilled chicken enchiladas for lunch with black beans, and a salad. And for dinner, I'll probably have grilled chicken, brown rice, and whatever Birdseye steamer I have sitting in the freezer :)

It's Thursday, which is my TV night....planning on using the stationary bike so I won't be sitting on my rear for 2 hours!

Since I'm finished with midterms and homework doesn't have a TOTAL hold over my life, I'm looking for a good book to read. Any suggestions?

A bucket of fried crazy.

2009-10-20T10:40:00.000-05:00

Mid-terms are over. I get to rejoin society!

First things first. I have lost 13 pounds...which I am so incredibly proud of, because I have worked SO incredibly hard for each and every one of them. I did however, indulge on 3 Halloween cookies over the weekend (which were 180 calories, total...so not TOO bad :D). I've also been waking up at 5:45 every morning to exercise before I have to start getting ready (as well as getting my daughter ready for the day) for work. I can tell a HUGE difference in the days where I make myself get out of bed, compared to the days where I sleep in.

So, it's Biggest Loser Tuesday, and I'm ready to see the antics that "Crazy Tracy" has up her sleeve this week...on the promo I heard her say something about "eating cake"...

And I can honestly say that I have NO sympathy whatsoever for the Blue Team. They had their chance to get rid of her, and I have a feeling they are going to regret that for the rest of the competition.

I told one of my co-workers about Zumba last week, and she has decided to check it out, and really enjoys it. I know that I wouldn't have lost the weight I have so fast if it weren't for how much I enjoy it, and how much it motivates me to be active the rest of the time.

Now, if I can make it through the morning without a cup of coffee there will be no questioning my willpower!

Tomorrow morning is weigh in for me, so fingers crossed, I'll have more good news :)

Put some Windex on it.

2009-10-14T21:41:00.000-05:00

If only all of life's problems could be solved so easily.

I had something major happen in my personal life over the weekend, and I've managed to be strong and not turn to a package of Oreos for comfort. I did however let my stress get the best of me tonight after dinner, and I went over my daily budget by about 200 calories.

I'm now hoping that I can run my guilt off on the treadmill....and start over tomorrow morning. I'm a little leery, because in the past when I have messed up, I completely ditch all the efforts I've made...and I'm hoping that my resolve will hold strong.

I'm still doing Zumba 4-5 days a week (as my schedule allows), and running every day. Nothing in my life at the moment can equate how great it feels to conquer that treadmill. I'm running my guts out, and I'm not holding on like I used to (I've finally conquered that mental block I had going on after I hurt my knee on the thing)

Watched the Biggest Loser last night, and let me say that the Blue team deserves Tracy and all her crazy. They had the opportunity to get rid of her and they sent Coach Mo home instead....I know they "think" they are playing the game, but it reminds me a lot of Helen last year, and how they kept her every week because they didn't see her as much of a threat, and she ended up winning the entire thing.

So today's final tally is:

1767 calories
60 minutes Zumba = 684 cal
45 minutes Treadmill = 322 cal
761 net calories.

Spotlight

2009-10-09T21:12:00.005-05:00

Mute Math + Treadmill = Bliss :)

I have felt so GOOD the past few days! I saw online where Mandisa, one of my favorite singers, does Zumba, so I checked into it and found a class. I LOVED IT! I've never in my life had a workout where I didn't feel like I was working out (don't get me wrong, I sweat my face off!), it was so much fun, I couldn't believe how fast the 60 minutes went. I've found myself finding excuses to workout, which is so far from normal from me. So far, I've lost a total of nine pounds, which is something I am so incredibly proud of. I'm also proud of myself for not letting myself quit because I'm tired....it's the best feeling in the world to totally kick that treadmill's rear, plus like I said before...I just feel BETTER. I've also found so many good recipes that are healthy, which is another reason I feel better because we're no longer eating fast food, or anything fried.

I read in a magazine that some people lose more weight (like on The Biggest Loser) when they are in a competition, and it listed a website "Weight Loss Wars" where you can join in on friendly competitions that help you stay accountable and motivated.

I have a TON of homework to do and I still need to clean up the kitchen before bed, so hopefully next time I write I'll be a few pounds slimmer!

Stuck in the middle with you.

2009-09-27T23:38:00.003-05:00

Today was a really GOOD day. I have always been one of those people who measure happiness in a completely different way. To me it's not about that overly-giddy, head over heels sensation, it's more of a sense of being content. Woke up, went to church (message was over being a courageous leader, referencing Daniel and the lions den), had lunch, cleaned house a little, took a nap, watched some tv with Aaron and Elliot Kate, and after dinner went to mom's for a while. My daughter has turned into a very entertaining little thing, and the funny thing is is that she knows it. :) I feel like God has been speaking to me about what I've been doing with my life more and more lately. I talked to Aaron about some things regarding our future tonight, and I'm not sure his feelings exactly, because he is always hard to read. Things will work out, they always do....my God never gives me more than I can handle.

Falling down.

2009-09-22T10:39:00.002-05:00

I've got to get better at this.

Started my "real" diet today. So far so good....praying for some strength. The main reason why I am doing this is because I really want to be "healthy". Not that looking great isn't a great benefit as well :) The nutrition class I'm having to take as one of my prerequisites has helped push me in this direction, and I've gotten "The Biggest Loser" fever as well. I keep having this recurring dream where I wake up one day and I am as big as some of the people on that show, which I know that they never intended to let themselves go that far. I personally know that it is so incredibly easy to say "I'll start making better food decisions tomorrow.", or "I'll wake up 45 minutes early in the morning to get a workout in", then end up hitting the snooze button. They say that if you don't lose your "baby weight" within the first year, that you'll never lose it. My hope is that I can prove that wrong.

School is stressful, but I'm getting better at my time-management skills. Thinking I'm going to go the BSN route so I can work my way through Med School...praying about it though to see if that's in God's plan for me.

Gotta get busy. Lots to catch up on from last week.

Little Tornado

2009-04-29T22:26:00.003-05:00

Make it go faster
Baby go faster
Make it go twice the speed
Of you and me
-Aimee Mann, Little Tornado

Yet another night that I can't sleep. Finished one of my design projects for this week, actually got it in a day early, so that's a big deal. Long day...had MRI on my knee and saw the doc again. Small tear in my cartilage...fluid on the knee. Have to take it "easy" for 6-8 weeks. Great.

Just when I was actually starting to reap the benefits of all the exercise, I'm stuck.

Thankful that it wasn't worse though! God had his hand on the situation.
The lyrics above are to one of my favorite songs...it has a great melody.

Survey.

2009-01-30T15:07:00.002-06:00

Do you have an older sister?
I'm the oldest.

Who will be the last person you talk to tonight before bed?
Aaron. I love our late night television viewing/conversations.

Who knows you better than you know yourself?
No one.

What time did you go to sleeplast night?
About 12

Are you excited for the future?
I am. I'm ready for things to fall into place a little more.

When was the last time someone yelled at you?
It's been awhile

Have you ever made out against a car?
Quite some time ago

Last text in inbox?
"Love ya" - Aaron

Do you get distracted easily?
Too easily.

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Watched TV

Do you give out second chances too easily?
I have in the past...they're a little harder to obtain these days.

Look at your plans for May 20th, what are you doing?
Probably working/doing school stuff

Do you miss your past?
Some things.

Have you ever had a black and white cat?
Yes. It ran away though.

Have you ever had your heart broken?
I have. But looking back, part of me is glad, because it taught me a lot about myself.

Your thoughts of long distance relationships?
They can work I suppose. They just never did for me.

When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
Sunday night when I almost knocked my self out by walking into the edge of our bedroom door.

Is there drama in your life right now?
No!! Let's hope it stays that way!

Do you call anybody by their last name?
Dr Manning

Have you ever been called a bad influence?
No, I was always the one who was a "Good Influence".

Do you have a best friend?
I do.

Do you like your life?
I do. I'm just ready to be done with school!

Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
I have.

What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Elliot Kate, shoes.

Are you good at giving advice?
Sometimes.

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything and everything?
Aaron, my mom, Angela.

Is there anything you are craving right now?
a nap.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
We might be taking Elliot to the zoo @ Memphis.

Have you eaten popcorn in the last 48 hours?
no

Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
yes

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
I have.

Do you ever wish you were famous?
I'm very thankful for my anonymity.

If you woke up in one of the Saw movies, do you think you could survive?
Ehh I don't even want to put that thought in my head.

When is the last time you were in a photo booth taking pictures with friend?
2004

Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided seeing them?
Every time I go home to Oklahoma!

Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can't even stand it?
I do.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?
Yes

Last time you smiled?
Just a little while ago.

Insomnia.

2009-01-25T01:02:00.002-06:00

I'm tired, yet I can't fall asleep.

The past couple of days have been great. They have made me really want to be a stay at home mom. I love spending time with Elliot Kate, and also feeling like I have the time to get things done around the house. I've cooked more in the past couple of days than I have in quite some time, which I have really enjoyed. Tonight I tried a new meatloaf recipe, which turned out pretty good, and I finally made Paula Deen's Twice Baked Potato Casserole that I've been wanting to try for well over a year.

My Perspective class has me stressed out. There's a woman in my class who looks like van Gogh compared to me. If my professors judges me comparatively, I'm afraid I won't do well. I will say, however, that I don't fully understand why Graphic Design majors are required to take the course, seeing as how drawing on a computer is somewhat different that on paper.

I interviewed for a second job on Thursday. It sounded like something I could do at night (from home) and on the weekends (it was a Graphic Artist position), but after I took the time to do the interview, I found out that they couldn't guarantee me a minimum amount of hours a week, and they would want me to drive to Little Rock whenever they needed me. Needless to say, I don't think I'll be taking it. I'll probably end up trying to do some freelance stuff, maybe earn enough doing that so I could work from home (which is my goal in the long run anyway).

I'm going to try and make myself fall asleep....it's ironic, Elliot Kate is staying at mom's so I have the opportunity to catch a full night's sleep, and now I can't go to sleep!!!

Kudos.

2009-01-19T15:10:00.003-06:00

First and foremost, kudos to Jami for sharing her household notebook :)
I'm really looking forward to getting mine put together and allowing it to keep my house clean and organized, as well as cut down on some of my stress!

The weekend was good, they never seem long enough anymore though! Saturday we hung out around the house, spent most of the day watching Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, which of course made me really want to cook.

Yesterday we spent time with the fam, and ended up going to Conway to buy groceries. We decided to paint the kitchen a dark blue, which Aaron is doing today.

Things are starting to pick up here at work, so that's all for now :)

What a day for a daydream.

2009-01-16T15:42:00.002-06:00

I can almost feel how cold it is outside just by looking out the window. I have a little over an hour left before my weekend begins, and I cannot wait. Not that we really have anything excited planned, it's just I love spending time with my family. I love the fact that Aaron is actually home at night and on the weekends now. I don't know what I'm going to do when he has to go back to full duty. Sometimes I wonder how much he misses the excitement of it all, if he gets tired of being home with us. I've asked him in the past, but he always says he loves being home with us, so who knows. I think I'm in the pre-stages of a cold. I've been trying to overdose on Vitamin C, hoping that maybe it will ward it off. There are several things I would rather endure that have a cold that I can't get rid of.

I was thinking earlier about a friend of mine I used to be really close to. It's been a couple of months since we've even talked, and I hate that. I know that life can cause people to lose touch, but I wish I would make more of an effort to keep that from happening. He has so much going on in his life right now, he and Traci are expecting Lorelai in March. I've been working on getting together a "survival kit" for them with all the things that helped me with Elliot, and things I fell in love with over the course of getting used to being a mom.

A part of me wants another little one, but it will be at least a year before we start trying again. I want Elliot to have her own time with us, plus, it's nice to have a little time with Aaron just us.

I feel like I ramble alot on here, but it's nice to put my thoughts down somewhere :)

As always.

2009-01-16T09:52:00.002-06:00

My job stresses me out. It seems like I always come back from a day off with a huge mess to clean up.

Other than that, things are good. School is keeping me busy, I need to finish one of my drawing assignments and start on my critique paper sometime today. I'm so ready to actually get into my design classes that it seems like these pre-req courses drag on.

This weekend I'm planning on getting the house clean (truly clean), catching up laundry, and maybe picking out the color that I'm going to paint the kitchen. We've been in our house for almost a year now, but I still feel like we have a long way to go as far as making it our home.

But, that's enough for now, I've got a to-do list to finish here @ work.

Pocketful of Sunshine.

2009-01-14T15:00:00.003-06:00

So, I've decided to enlighten the world with all of my useless rambling :) A couple of my friends are big on blogs, so I thought I'd join the ranks. I used to write in one of these regularly when I was in high school, and my first couple of years of college, but life can be crazy.

Today has not been the best day so far. I'm at work, and on Wednesdays, Dr. Manning isn't here. It's usually the day for me to get caught up, but today has been so crazy. I don't know if it's the full moon or what, but it seems like everything that could go wrong has. If one more person comes in saying they don't like their glasses I might just scream at the top of my lungs!

Elliot is getting so big. It seems like just yesterday that we were bringing her home from the hospital, and she was so little. Now she's 7 months old, and trying to go everywhere and get into everything.

So, I've been putting off my Perspective homework long enough...